Worth It
by GrandiloquentHeartlessness
Summary: "Do you ever just wish you'd never done it?" "Never done what?" "Any of it. Never auditioned for Boyz Attack. Never gotten into this whole lifestyle." One-shot. Set during episode 4x04.


**A/N: **This is a one-shot I've had partly written on my computer for almost a year. It takes place during the 4th season episode "Us And Them" which is the one with the couch jumping and Jude running over the paparazzi dude's foot.

In other news, the hardest part of writing this was the title. I called it "idk paparazzi thing" on my computer.

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"Oh no." Jude groaned as they pulled onto her street in and saw that the crowd of paparazzi around her home hadn't dissipated since that morning. "Are you kidding me? Still? It's seven o'clock!"

Tommy whistled. "Damn. That's some crowd. What do you want to do?" He stopped the car far enough down the street that they wouldn't be recognized and swarmed.

"I don't know." She groaned again.

"Well, you could go to your rehearsal space, hope you don't lead them all there. I'd say we can wait until they go away, but if they've been here all day I don't know if they'll leave any time soon. You can come to my place. There'll be a few there too, I'm sure, but probably not this bad."

"I need to go home, though!" She protested. "I need to get clothes and stuff. And my guitar. There's a song I was going to try to work on tonight before the gala stuff tomorrow. And my bed, Tommy!" She looked longingly at the house. "I really like my bed."

He shrugged. "I have guitars... and a bed." He smirked at her. "And in my opinion, clothes are highly overrated."

"Shut up." Jude laughed and rolled her eyes, hitting him on the shoulder with the back of her hand.

"You do want to go in, then?"

She hesitated, looking at the crowd nervously. "Yeah, I have to." she sighed. She bit her lip. "Will you come with me?"

"Anything for you, Harrison." He said, then added "Even though you did get us into this."

"Don't drive over anyone." She muttered dryly as he started the car again.

"That's more your thing, isn't it?" He teased her and she glared.

"Shut up, Quincy."

Thankfully, people moved out of the way of the car this time, and nothing got broken or run over. When they got out of the car and reporters began shouting things at them, Tommy said "Look, this is private property, and if you don't back up and leave us alone, we _will_ call the police." Although the statement didn't cause anyone to leave, it did distract them long enough for Jude to get inside with minimal trauma, and Tommy followed her in, closing the door behind him with a heavy sigh.

Jude let out a frustrated groan and stomped to the kitchen, taking a swig of orange juice from the carton. Tommy followed her, and one side of his mouth quirked up in a smile watching her.

"They just don't have any _fucking_ boundaries!" Jude ranted, slamming the carton down on the counter. "It's like, okay, I get that a lot of people like my music, and that this comes with the whole famous thing, but I'm just a person, for God's sake! I made a mistake and now they won't leave me alone for five goddamned minutes!"

"I know, girl." Tommy said, shaking his head and sitting down at the kitchen table. "Believe me, I more than get it. Boyz Attack fans used to get rough."

She looked at him. "Do you ever just wish you'd never done it?"

"Never done what?"

"Any of it. Never auditioned for Boyz Attack. Never gotten into this whole lifestyle. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. This is all I've ever wanted, for people to hear my music, to wake up every day and know that I'm making music and doing what I love, but sometimes I think… Maybe I was happier playing by myself in my bedroom, without all of this… pressure. I'm grateful to Instant Star and to G Major, I am, but some days…" She shook her head with a sigh and looked up at him, shrugging. "Do you know what I mean?"

Tommy looked at her for a long time, not saying anything. Jude didn't say anything either, but tilted her head questioningly.

After a long moment Tommy nodded slowly. "I know what you mean, about the pressure. Of course I had days where I thought I'd be better off out of the spotlight. Especially with Boyz Attack, where the image was everything, even more than it is with you… But I never wished I hadn't auditioned. I never wanted to go back to who I was before. I think…" He sighed heavily. "The band had its flaws, and D did too, obviously, but in some ways I think Boyz Attack saved my life." He mumbled the last part, looking down at his hands.

The rarity of the moment was not lost on Jude. This was Tommy opening up about his past. She had to tread lightly or he'd shut down, and she could easily ignite a fight. When he didn't say anything for a long moment she stepped forward, sitting down in the chair next to him and pulling her knees up to her chest. "What do you mean?" She asked quietly.

He looked back up at her. "Just… I wasn't in a good place, before. Not that I really was after Boyz Attack either but…" He grimaced. "Well, you know I was in juvie, for a while, and I'm sure you've figured out that my family wasn't exactly the Brady Bunch." He looked down again, starting to mumble. "I was angry. At my family, at myself, at everything. I didn't know what to do with that anger, and I was headed down a pretty bad road for a while. The music saved my life, and getting a chance to do something with it made me feel like I was worth something." His voice was so quiet by the last few words that Jude barely heard him. She had leaned toward him without realizing it, and when he looked back up at her, their faces were close. Tommy met her eyes and smiled briefly before shrugging and standing up, grabbing her hand lightly to pull her up with him. "We're lucky to be where we are. This craziness will blow over soon enough. Isn't there something you wanted to run before the gala?"

Jude wanted to say something, but the moment was gone, so she just nodded. He dropped her hand as he followed her up to her room, but when they got to the top of the stairs, Tommy grabbed her waist and turned her to him gently. "Hey." He said softly, putting a hand on the side of her face. "All of this is going to be crazy for a while." He stroked her cheek with his thumb. "But it's worth it, alright?" He gave her a little smile, bending forward and touching his forehead to hers. "We're worth it."

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**A/N:** Tommy is just one of those characters you mine endlessly for these rare moments of emotional openness. I will continue to do that until the end of time probably.

This is hardly my best work, but let me know what you think!


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